Episode 4 (#104)
Name: Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride
Original Air Date: 9/3/97


Mr. Garrison
Mr. Hat
Frank Hammond
Big Gay Al
Richard Stamos


Stan gets a new dog, voiced by George Clooney, and thinks he is the toughest dog in South Park. They try to get him to fight with another male dog. Instead, he anally rapes the dog, and the boys stare in shock, terror, and confusion. Cartman calls the dog a "gay homosexual." Stan tries to get his dog to be straight, but learns homosexuality is ok from Big Gay Al, who has a refuge for gay animals. Also, the town wagers money on the local football game, where Kenny dies.


9! The best episode since the first, and truly funny. Nothing on this one was as funny as in the first episode, but the jokes and celebrity cameos (Clooney, Jesus, Brian Boitano, John Stamos' Brother, etc.) kept rolling. Overall, an outstanding episode.

Did you notice:

The suitcase at the end - One explanation is it's like Mary Poppins . . . his work there was done, he had brought enlightenment and now he was going to move on.. A possible reference might also be to the (hotel chain) commercial with people popping into and out of a suitcase.

Another possible explanation: The suitcase may also have been a reference to Felix the Cat's bag of tricks, but I'm not sure. The animation seemed the same.

"I haven't seen an Englishman take a blow like that since Hugh Grant" - Hugh Grant was arrested for soliciting a prostitute - this was both a major blow to his career and a major blow to (ahem).

"I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland 1938" - Nazi Germany invaded the then- predominately Jewish Poland in 1939, marking the official start of World War II.

"I haven't seen a beating like that since Rodney King" - In March 3, 991, bystanders watched as several Los Angeles police officers severely beat Rodney King. When the same officers were acquitted on April 29, 1992, Los Angeles erupted into riots.

Brian Boitano (of SOXMAS fame) makes a guest appearance on Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride. The Boat Ride is a mixture of Disney's Jungle Cruise ride and Disney's It's A Small World ride.

The Village People appear in the Big Gay Boat Ride.

The chalkboard in this episode seems to have either really advanced geometry on it. It's kind of odd for 3rd graders to be getting that kind of education:
pi * r * r = 2 * pi * r

However, the above equation is not correct since you can't equate an area with a length. The units just don't work out.

"Loving You" was a number one hit for Minnie Ripperton in 1975. She was also the writer (or co-writer) of the song. It was sung again (albeit poorly) by John Stamos's (John Stamos was the Uncle Jesse character on the television show 'Full House') older brother Richard.

Kenny was wearing number 13 (the superstitious number of bad luck) but the ref called him by number 23 (the number of the Illuminati)

Also, Stan had #4, Kyle is #12, and Cartman had #68.. 4-12-68 .. Someone's birthday (Parker or Stone)? Additionally, helmet-less Pip wears #00.

Kyle's football uniform number alternates between 12 and 14.

Some Middle Park kids have negative numbers such as -1 and -3

The two mean-looking 4th graders who taunt Stan about his dog's lifestyle - ?

Big Gay Al's right nipple is pierced.

The conversation in "Big Gay Al's..." between Mr. Garrison and Chef, "I just act that way to get chicks, dumbass" is a blatant reference to the "Bloodhound Gang" song, "I wish I were gay so I could get chicks"

The Sports bar looks small on the inside, but was enormous on the inside!

The 'Sports Bar' was not a bar, it was a Sports Book. That's what legal sports betting houses in Vegas are called. Book comes from Bookie, which is the guy that takes your bets.

Mr Garrison is in the crowd placing bets behind Jimbo.

When Stan & Sparky are leaving Big Gay Al's, Al says "When you get back to town, tell them about us, will you? Tell them there are gay animals here
who need homes, desperately.", and Stan says that he will. This is (possibly) a direct lift from the old Rankin-Bass 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer' stop-motion Xmas special when Rudolph and the Dentist Elf are leaving the Island of MisFit Toys, the Winged Lion says basically the same line to them regarding the MisFit Toys and Santa Claus.

The sportscaster at the football game (the one with the bad comb-over)sounds suspiciously like Marv Albert, a well-known NBC Sportscaster (who is a well-known toupee wearer, who is also no longer an NBC Sportscaster).

The suitcase BigGay Al took off in was like the suitcase car of George Jetson.

Actually, this bears a STRIKING resembelance to the ending of "UHF" where the crazy station engineer leaves for his home planet at the end of the movie. "It looks like my work here is done"

Best Quotes:

Sparky starts panting
Sylvester starts whimpering
Cartman: Heh, he's doing something to his ass. He's not kicking his ass, but he's definitely
doing something to his ass.
Stan: Sparky, bad dog!
Kenny: Oh my god I think they're screwing.
Stan: What?!?
Cartman: Yeah dude, I think your dog is gay.
Stan: What do you mean?
Cartman: That dog is a gay homosexual.
Stan: He's just confused.
Kyle: I think the other dog's the one that's confused.
Kenny: Mrmph
Stan: Sick, shut up dude.
Cartman: [Singing] Stan's dog's a homo. Stan's dog's a homo.

Jimbo: I don't have to remind you just how important this game is to us South Park
Chef: Elementary school alumni?
Jimbo: That's as far as most of us got. You think we have a shot at beating the spread
against Middlepark this year?
Chef: I don't know. Wha, what's the spread?
Jimbo: Middlepark by 70 points.

Stan: Um, I'm not really prepared either.
Mr. Garrison: Well, just make something up, like Eric did.
Stan: Ok, uh. Asian culture has, plagued our fragile earth for many years. We must
end it-
Mr. Garrison: Excellent. A minus.
Cartman: Eh!
Stan: Wow, cool!
Cartman: Wait a minute, why the hell does he get an A minus
Mr. Garrison: Eric, Stanley just might lead our team to victory against the Middlepark
cowboys for the first time in decades. And we treat star atheletes better cause they're
better people.
Cartman: That's not fair!
Mr. Hat: Life isn't fair kiddo, get used to it.
Cartman: Stupid puppet.

Mr. Garrison: Stanley, gay people...well, gay people are evil. Evil right down to their cold
black hearts, which pump not blood like yours and mine. But rather a thick, vomitous oil
that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea sized brains which becomes the
cause of their Naziesque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?

Bully2: Hey Stan, your dog been to any pride marches lately?
Bully1: Huh huh, yeh, maybe you should take him to a Barbara Streisand concert.

Robert: Well, every, everything's much better Jesus. She hasn't mouthed off since. I just
wanted to thank you for the advice. Oh, and for, for dying for my sins, that was really nice
of you.

Stan: Uh, hi, Jesus. I, I have a dog, and he's a, he's a homosexual.
Jesus: My son, a lot of people have wondered what my stance on homosexuality is. So
I'd like to state once and for all, my true opinion. You see...
TV Announcer: That's all the time we've left for Jesus and Pals, now stay tuned for
Marty's Movie Reviews.

Carl: What high F?
Jimbo: You know, [singing, badly] Loving you is easy 'cause you're beautiful
Carl: Right, right, so you want the trigger on the doo-nn-doo.
Jimbo: No, damnit! The Ahhhhh.
Carl: Ahhhhhh.
Ned: Ahhhhhh.
Jimbo: Ahhhhhh.
Carl: Ahhhhhh.
Jimbo: Great, we...
Carl: Doo-nn-doo-nn-doo-doo - Ahhh.
Ned: Doo-nn-doo-doo
Jimbo: You got it...
Carl: Doo-nn-doo-nn-doo-doo...
Ned: ahh - dooo
Jimbo: Ahhhhhh.
Carl: Alright, yeah, ok...

Stan: I don't know where Sparky is. He usually follows me to football practice.
Cartman: Maybe he went shopping for some leather pants.

Stan: Have you guys seen Sparky, he still hasn't come back.
Kyle: Wow, it's been like two days.
Stan: I think he might've run away.
Cartman: Did you check the shopping m....

Big Gay Al: We have all sorts of gay animals here at Big Gay Al's. Over here we have a
gay lion.
Gay Lion: Rooaar
Big Gay Al: And we have gay water buffalo, gay hummingbirds, here's a gaggle of gay
gooses. Hi fellas, it's so super to see you!
Stan: Wow, seems like the animals here are really happy.
Big Gay Al: Of course they are silly buns. It's the one place where gay animals can really
be themselves. Would you like to dance?

Kyle: Damn it Cartman!
Kyle runs back from Cartman's gas
Chef: What's the matter?
Kyle: Cartman farted!
Cartman: No I didn't. That was just my shoes.

Frank: Why, I haven't seen a beating like that since Rodney King.

Phil covers the mic.
Phil: Now Frank, that's not very PC. You're gonna get us in trouble again.
Frank: Right, right, uh. I gotta watch that.

Frank: Oh no, I haven't seen an Englishman take a blow like that since Hugh Grant.
Phil: Dude! Now that is not cool.

Frank: The running back is down. I think he's... Yes, he's been decaptitated.
Kyle: Huh! Oh my God, they killed Kenny! You Bastards!
Phil: That's gotta hurt Frank.
Frank: Ouch-a-roo.
Chef: Hey, come on. That was roughing. At least let us scrape him off the field.

Big Gay Al: Uh oh, look out, it's the oppressors. Christians and republicans and nazis, oh

Mr. Garrison: Richard Stamos can't sing a high F, he always screws it up like this.
Jimbo: Ned, we are going to get our asses kicked.
Richard: Lalalala.
Mr. Garrison: It's obvious where all the talent in that family went!

Jimbo: Jesus, now I haven't asked you for much, but all we need is one little score.
Please? Please, Jesus?
Jesus: Leave me alone.

Frank: Oh my! I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938!
Phil: Dude!

Stan: But it was here. It was all right here. The, there was a techno dance club.
Cartman: Stan, you need to lay off the cough syrup, alright, seriously. I'm worried about
you man.


Chef's song:

[On the sideline at practice]
Chef: Now children, we've got to handle the ball better. You got to hold your football
like you hold your lover.

Music Starts
Chef: Gently...yet firmly. You gonna be both nurturing and clinging at the same time. Oh yeah, just like you're givin' sweet love to the football. Nnnaughty with the football. Mmmm.
Kyle: Uh, Chef?
Chef: Spank it, ever so gently.
Kyle: Chef?
Chef: Spank it.
Kyle: Chef!
Chef: Oh, uhhh, sorry children. Uhh, let's run some plays.

How Kenny Dies:

Kenny has the ball at the football game, when a bunch of the Middle Park players attack him. Two of them get his arms and pull them off while another leaps at him and takes his head off. No foul is called, but Chef claims it is roughing.